cerbung-ep-12

Pick Me: Episode 12

TWELVE: FEAR

The young 18 year old me
Full of dreams and hope
The one who said he’d earn and give everything to his parents 3 years have gone
And it’s still the same as before
As time goes by
It seems it’s getting smaller
Felt pressure from my mum and dad’s Good words
The young negative me got angry at my mum
Truthfully I knew
All those words for me
I’m sorry for complaining
I’ll make you walk a flower path

—Kim Tae-Min [Produce101 Position Evaluation] -FEAR

 

Kim Taemin:

Five years ago,

I came to my parents, fighting my idealism with them. I insisted on going to Australia to continue my study. to catch the dreams i’ve dreams before of being an architect. I applied and got the freaking scholarship to UNSW, the most re-known college in the World. With all the idealism could ever think of, I fought the idea of keeping me in South Korea, the ideal of all old Koreans. I fought and won the table to keep the scholarship. I knew, It would be hard leaving the neighborhood, I’ve been growing up until now but, I  know it would be nice to have lot’s of new people around you at your new place.

Eight years ago I was mad at my parents for not letting me to go there. in the end i raised my voice and be angry at them. for them to send me to Australia. I never thought of not be able to go home. letting all my family drown in the sea of thoughts. 5 years, i haven’t had the chance of meeting my family, letting them to worry alone about me. I finished my bachelor degree after a struggle on my own big mouth. I work 4 part time jobs, work at the library and working on my Thesis. i barely have enough sleep. saving up for living, tuition, and also apartment. the struggle is so real.

I was thinking i could live here for the rest of my life. but, after i worked hard enough to keep me alive, I didn’t think twice to buy a ticket back to Korea as soon i finished my thesis and worked here for a year; I would definitely be there for good. I knew that’s a hard choice to stay apart from my parents in Korea. but they promised to send money while i look for a steady work and living in Perth.

“Hyung, I missed you,” I said during a video call with Jisung hyung.

“I thought Perth is nice. you haven’t called in a month, Taemin ah,” Jisung hyung said with a smile.

“It’s nice. But, I gotta work hard and study hard. I missed hanging out with, Jonghyun and you the most,” I whined.

“Bear with it, Kim Taemin. It’s just temporary, you said you want this,” Jisung hyung woke me up from the dreams.

“Remember you always tell us that it was your dream to move to Perth. We’ll visit you,” Jonghyun who appeared magically on the video call said.

“Wait for us, Don’t give up,” Jisung hyung Ended the call.

 

INCHEON, SEOUL,

“It’s Freedom” I said while pushing my carrier outside the arrival gate. Finally I’ve arrived at my hometown.

It had been 5 years already. I have been away for so long. Sydney was beautiful. But I missed Jonghyun, Minhyun and Jisung hyung the most. I missed hanging out with them all at Jisung hyung’s coffee shop talking about the pretty little princess tailing Jisung hyung wherever he goes. She was 12 years younger than Jisung hyung. So, the elder always act like a father to her. If I wasn’t mistaken her name was Yoo Jin and she’s all grown up now, thanks to puberty.

So after a long decision making, I sat inside a coach taking me to the bus stop in front of the coffee shop I talked about earlier. The trip is 3 hour long from Incheon, and I was on my earphone listening to indie band song covering Nation’s sons’ Never. I was half asleep when the coach driver mentioned the station’s name, I lazily took my carrier and went down the coach to the coffee shop I haven’t been in for a long time.

The name was still “Yoon’s Cozy Coffee” but many things changed after awhile. Live music bar is up at the other corner of the shop, where there was no coffee bar. The coffee bar was slightly bigger than the last time I visited. It was at the right side of the coffee shop close to the entrance. Kenta and Seonho worked as the barista. Muel worked as cashier. Meanwhile there was a hot girl working as their trainee barista and server.

“Yoon Yoojin, would you come to that customer with the carrier over there?” Seonho said.
“I’m on it, Sunbae,” She walked to the table where I sat.

“Hello, customer, do you need something,” she asked. So, she is really the little girl who was not so little at all.

“One hot cappucino please,” I said.

“T-Taemin oppa?” she stuttered afraid of getting the names wrong.

“I am Taemin,” I nodded, smiling as the lady recognized me.

“Your coffee will come in a minute, but I’ll get sajangnim to come,” she said and flashed a cute smile to me.

“KENTA NIIMM one hot cappuccino please, It’s on me,” she said from the bar.

“Coming,” Kenta replied as Yoojin was seen moving through the door into the office, calling the man he called ‘oppa’ and ‘sajang nim’.

“Yoojin ssi come here. do the latte art,” Kenta paused. “It seemed like he was someone so important to Sajang nim,” Kenta added.

“she isn’t ready for the barista thingy,” Seonho said

“Kim Taemin,” there was a voice from behind,

“Yes?” I asked as I was trying to find the voice behind me. “Jisung hyung” I put my coffee down and ran to him.

“You grew up so well there,” He hugged me.

“Yoo Jin too, she’s unexpected,” I said, pointing at the girl.

“She’s been through a lot this time,” He said with a lot of concern.

“What has been happening lately,” I asked.

“She was dating this cute guy. And her brother were all angry at her” Jisung paused, “this cute senior particularly was the one paying frequent hospital visit when she got her summer blues. He was always there when she need her. They spent merely most of the summer together. So the guy confessed to her and dated her. They were all lovey-dovey when Yoodam came to the party where he wasn’t invited, all of the neigborhood came. Her brother didn’t make the time for her when she was hospitalized. Meanwhile, this guy came barely everyday, trying to get her worries out of her head,”

“She needs a time out” I nodded.

“That’s why she worked and lived here with me,” Jisung sighed as he nodded to the working girl ahead of him.

“Just don’t over protect her, hyung. She is too young to meet the restriction and boundaries,” I said.

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